A Needed Vacation

                Recently my family and I took a much needed vacation which is why it has been a little longer since the last newsletter.  You know how everyone comes back from vacation tired and speaks of needing a vacation from the vacation.  Well, we actually made that part of our plan.  We came back a little early to relax and get some things done around the house before it’s time to go back to work.  One of the things I had to do was take my “Herby Blue Ramcharger” (as my son calls it) in to pass emissions and get plates.  Before I took it in I changed the oil and put a new air filter in to make sure it was going to pass.  I put the used oil in a container in the back to take it to the parts store (Yes, I change my own oil among other things).  On my way to get the emissions checked I got pulled over, then I failed emissions because of the gas cap, quick bought a new gas cap and went back to do it again (passed the second time), then trying to get to the doctor for a 3:30 appointment the used oil container spilled all over my vehicle.  I have to admit I kept going over my day thinking it was top 10 in worst days of my life.

                In the end I realized it wasn’t even close.  I’ve had much worse days.  I kept looking at the oil all over the floor and realized it wasn’t on the driver’s side, so at least it wasn’t getting on my shoes.  My truck did pass emissions and with a little power washing on the inside it will be just fine.  My wife ended up cooking some great chicken.  Last, I am still on vacation and tomorrow I will get all of that fixed up. 

                So why am I writing this.  I have had those days in youth ministry.  Days where I go home and if I was honest I would curl up in a fetal position or cry on my wife’s shoulder like a little baby.  More often than not if I think about the day and the things that went wrong there is a silver lining somewhere.  Things didn’t go quit as bad as I thought or at worst I learned some lessons that will help me in the future.  Sure, I feel like quitting, but if I just sleep on it for one night and get back at it the next day things begin to take care of themselves and after a couple of days or weeks it all gets worked out.  God is faithful and if we continue to work for His glory and trust in His provision it will work out.

The Boundaries of Truth

                I have two dogs, a Black Lab and a golden Retriever.  The lab we have had since the time it was a pup.  He now weighs close to 100lbs.  When he was a pup we had to lay down some boundaries.  There were certain things we wanted Crash (the lab) to do and not do.  There were also certain things we wanted Crash to believe.  For instance it was important for Crash to believe that I was the alpha male.  In order for me to train Crash he needed to know that I was the boss.  What crash believed was equally if not more important than his actions.  If Crash rightly believed I was the boss, I could teach and train him.  If He believed I was abusive and would do harm to him he might be obedient, but at some point it is likely that he would strike back.  He might attack me, or worse, someone in my family.  If he believed he could do whatever he wanted with no consequences, he would be untrainable.  What he believes is important.  What students believe is important.  Leaving them to find truth on their own while trying to get them to live moral lives is like training a dog that doesn’t believe there are consequences for disobedience and rewards for obedience.  I realize the analogy breaks down when taken too far.  I am not saying students are dogs nor am I saying that we need to train students in the exact same way we need to train dogs.

As it applies to students, some have taken the approach that orthodoxy is not really that important.   Instead praxis is much more important.  Words like Atonement or trinity have become the answer to trivia questions rather than important theological truths that must be taught to God’s people.  As teachers and pastors to students we have a high calling to help students find truth, understand truth, and believe truth.  Though some would say truth is subject to opinion, it is relative to one’s own experience, or at the very least it is flexible; it is not any of those things, truth is reality.  Orthodoxy could be defined as believing the essential truths of the Christian faith.

If we start with the premise that Scripture is true we must also conclude that teaching good doctrine (I would define that as what is orthodox) is of the utmost importance:

·         Titus 1:9 He must ^whold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in ^xsound⁵ doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

·         1 Timothy 1:3 As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus that you may charge certain persons not ^hto teach any different doctrine,

·         Ephesians 4:11-14 And ^mhe gave the ^napostles, the prophets, the ^oevangelists, the ^ppastors and teachers,^{3 12 q}to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for ^rbuilding up ^sthe body of Christ, ¹³ until we all attain to ^tthe unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, ^uto mature manhood,⁴ to the measure of the stature of ^vthe fullness of Christ, ¹⁴ so that we may no longer be children, ^wtossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in ^xdeceitful schemes.^[1]

·         Romans 16:17-18 I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles ^xcontrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; ^yavoid them. ¹⁸ For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but ^ztheir own appetites,⁵ and ^aby smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.

·         John 4:23 But ^bthe hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father ^cin spirit and ^dtruth, for the Father ^eis seeking such people to worship him.

·         John 8:32 …and you will ^dknow the truth, and the truth ^ewill set you free.”

·         John 17;17-19  Sanctify them² in the truth; ^myour word is truth. ^{18 n}As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. ¹⁹ And ^ofor their sake ^pI consecrate myself,³ that they also ^qmay be sanctified⁴ in truth.

The list goes on, truth and doctrine are weaved throughout scripture.  Teaching Orthodoxy is an essential part of our jobs as people who love Jesus and love students.  That means helping students understand the boundaries of the Christian faith.  Certainly we cannot know all truth regarding God or even come to the same conclusion on every doctrine found in Scripture.  What we can do is teach the core essential truths of the Christian faith.  Those truths are defined for us in key scriptures like 1 Corinthians 15, Phillipians 2, and Colossians 1.

Just a cool Story!!

I went to a wedding today that was unlike any wedding I have attended or performed. I have had the privilege of officiating for some great couples. I have attended weddings of people that will go on to have great marriages, but todays wedding was unique.

The couple that got married today has been married before...to each other. Almost twenty years ago they got married. They had two kids and then after about four years they were divorced. During the next 15 years (yes, that said 15) they remained divorced. First Bob committed his life to Christ, then the boys (one of which is my YM worship intern) and over the last couple of years Dorthy trusted Jesus and today (June 6th) they were remarried.

Collin and Terrance (their boys) sang "All The Way My Savior Leads Me" That is where I smilled big, these young guys get it. They understand the importance Christ plays in a relationship and much of that is by watching God work in their parents lives. The impact of family is undeniable, and the need to fight with everything we have for every family is great. The reward though not always seen in a day, month or year is always worth the struggle. Don't give up on God or families, He is capable of bringing back to life that which was dead. We must trust in the power of God to do what we cannot.

Youth Ministry needs to Push Back

I am anticipating that this blog post may get some negative reaction. Still I think it is important. This morning I watched some commentary on the "Jon & Kate Plus 8" television show. I have never watched the show and I am not sure what the actual circumstances are in that home. My purpose is not to actually talk about the family, but to commentate on the commentary. As I watched, thoughts I have been having about family and youth ministry for years rushed through my brain as a significant mistake was being made in front of my eyes. I wish it was a mistake exclusive to the media, but i fear it has found its way into our homes and our churches.

According to this commentary the couple has been having some marital difficulties. Of course the primary concern was the children and the impact this is having on them. Might I suggest that focusing on the children is mistake number one? Yes, I know we look at children and think they are fragile (in many ways they are) and they need our help to navigate difficult waters (they do). Perhaps what we should be worried about instead is the marriage of Jon and Kate. Wouldn't it be best for the children if the marriage was saved? Why do we write the marriage off as if it is no big deal? Still that is not the primary mistake that was made.

Mistake number two is significant because of the impact it has on our culture overall. Multiple times it was stated or insinuated that the difficulty the couple is having combined with the TV cameras is not really having an impact on the students (the one exception was the aunt and uncle). The way we know it is not having on impact on the kids is by simply asking them. That is mistake number two. I can't help but wonder how often we as a culture make decisions based on what kids tell us. My guess is we do this often. For our purposes in the church as youth workers, parents, pastors, and so on, how often do we make decisions based on what our students or kids want? Certainly there are appropriate times to do this, but I think we may be doing this in important areas. What curriculum we chose is based on what they will find interesting instead of what will give them a better foundation in their faith. Elements in a program are based solely on whether they are fun instead of what kind of impact they will have on the students. What is best for our students?

So, where is the push back? It is here. In my opinion Scriptrue provides significant support for the existence and practice of youth ministry. Scripture also lays at the feet of parents the responsibility of discipling their own kids. This means Youth Ministries should not be asking students and even parents (at times) what they would like, but instead they should be asking what is best! How can we best support parents in discipling their kids? How can we best equip parents to disciple their kids? Dueteronomy 6 makes clear important role parents are to play in their kids life.

The High School programing at our church is changing significantly this year. There are many reasons for the change. One of those reasons is our desire to push back a little. In many ways we have an attractional model of ministry, but there comes a time when attraction is just attraction and not ministry. Our desire is to encourage parents to take a more significant role in their student's life. A common worship experience is part of that. We also believe that this will help High School students learn how to go to church. Over the past several years there has been a buzz in youth ministry about the number of students leaving church when they graduate. Might I suggest that one of the reasons they leave is because we have made our programming and curriculum decisions based on what they like and not on what they need? We have specialized our programming in every aspect, because of that students have never learned how to go to church and they don't like the church they are face with when they leave the High School or college ministry. Our goal is to teach students how to attend "big church". You might say the church needs to be more relevant to a younger generation rather than teaching students to participate in something that isn't good. There may be some cases where that is true, but I can't think of a better way to do that than to get the students involved in the first place. We have several additional reasons for chaning our programming, but this was certainly in the mix.

The challenge for those of us in youth ministry is to ask different questions. These are some questions I ask regarding our ministry at The Rock:

• How can I creat the best environments for God to work in students lives?
• How can I equip parents to better disciple their own students?
• What tools can I provide to both students and parents that will help them follow Jesus as a family?
• How can we, through our programming, help students who do not have parents that will disciple them?

Ask these questions of yourself of some of your parents, your staff, and Senior pastor. See what you come up with and consider changing the programming to support the entire family.

Teaching Students to Pray

Prayer is one of those spiritual disciplines that most of us struggle with. This is especially true for those of us who seem to always be "plugged in". Our lives are filled with noise from our cell phones, computers, TVs, radios and so on. Over the past 15 years I have noticed a significant decline in the number of students who are capable of praying, much less praying in front of other people. So how can we help students learn to pray? I will address this on two levels, what am I doing with my own kids, and how we can help students learn to pray.

Every night we read scripture as a family. Currently we are reading through the book of Judges. it is a little grousome at times, but it gives us opportunity to talk about God in some interesting ways. When we are done we simply ask each other who each person is going to pray for. My ten year old often prays for her friends and our family. My three year old boy also prays. Lately he has been praying for lisey, one of our volunteer staff who is raising money to go over to Germany to work with youth. His prayers often go like this, "Dear Jesus, I pray for Lisey that she gets money." My daughter is a little more detailed in her prayers, but they are learning to pray and to do it outloud in front of other people.

So how do we help High School students learn to pray? Here are a couple small steps:

• Model it, but don't make your prayers all glorious and majestic. Keep the prayers simple and achievable.
• Ask students who are comfortable to pray publically to do so.
• Ask students (probably in small groups) who they would like to pray for and have them pray simple prayers just like my kids do.
• Take opportunity to teach through the Lord's Prayer
• Do a concert of prayer where the students are able to pray in an interactive way that is less intimidating.