Social Networking and Ministry: Are students being socially handycapped?

One of the complaints I have heard most about social networking is that it is impacting students ability to interact socially. Some of these complaints are the result of observing certain students who do appear to be socially handicapped. That said it seems to me based only on my own observations that the students who have a lot of online friends are very adept at interacting face to face.

None of us were around when the phone first began to take over the world, but I could imagine the same kind of concerns being voiced because of the telephone. Social networking is another way of communicating another way of keeping up with friends and family. I am baffled at why this would looked at in a negative way. The question is are people different online?

I have no doubt that people are willing to say things online they would not say in person and be part of things online they would not otherwise be part of. This certainly has both positives and negatives. The question then becomes who is the real person? I would suggest that more often than not the online person is the real person. Students need to learn restraint and judgment online just like they learn those things in how they communicate face to face.

I am not suggesting there are no challenges with social networking I am suggesting that there is nothing new under the sun. Social networking is here to stay and it will likely become more complex and pervasive not less. Instead of complaining perhaps we need to begin to think about how to use these technologies to honor God!!

Social Networking and Ministry

Relationships...what are they? We talk about relationships all the time. Sometimes it is a boyfriend or girlfriend, sometimes we are talking about friendship or various other relationships. In my conversation with some youth pastors and a youth ministry seminary professor about social networking and youth ministry dealt specifically with this issue. They were convinced that social networking (myspace, facebook, or others) is keeping students from being able to have "real relationships". This obviously begs the question, what is a real relationship?

It is important to point out again that there are different kinds of relationships. Certainly a marriage can not be maintained in a healthy way exclusively over one of these social networks, but what about a friendship, a business relationship, or some other kind of relationship?

Dictionary.com defines a relationship this way, " a connection, association, or involvement." Based on this definition it certainly seems possible to have a relationship over some kind of social network. I don't know how having a relationship over a social network would be any different than using email, or some other form of electronic communication. You can certainly connect, have an association, or be involved in some way. Another question could be asked, what makes a relationship real?

From a logical standpoint this question is redundant. Any relationship is by definition a "real" relationship. In Scripture we see various examples of relationships we see marriages (we actually get a pretty in depth look at what those relationships are to be like), friendships, dating, boss employee, etc... There are many qualities that are good and Godly in a relationship like honesty, loyalty, faithfulness, love, accountability, etc... As I sit here and think about all of the good qualities that describe a good relationship and social networking I must ask this question, does social networking limit or distinguish any of these qualities? I think the answer is no! Some forms of real relationships can be initiated and maintained via social networking.

Marriage relationships of course require physical intimacy so to argue that a marriage could be maintained via social networking would be ridiculous. A friendship or even the relationship between business partners, mentor and mentee or other forms of relationships can certainly be maintained via social networking. There are still other questions that need to be asked. Does social networking limit a person's (especially students) ability to interact socially when face to face? Are people different online? How do these networks impact how we do ministry? Should we be fighting involvement in these networks or should we be using them? What would Jesus do? That last question might seem a little weird, but it is probably more significant than you might think. I will address these questions in upcoming posts.

Social Networking and Ministry

It's crazy, but when I started on facebook I needed to get to the fifty friends mark and once I did that one hundred seemed pretty doable. I made one hundred and then I realized I was just a beginner, I only had one hundred friends...what a loser. You probably get where this is going. There are more questions about facebook, myspace, twitter and the other social networking options out there than whether they are cool or not. How do these things impact relationships, and more specifically a students ability to interact with others? Can relationships start and be maintained using these social networks? What are the moral implications?

I had a conversation today with a youth pastor and a seminary professor who teaches youth ministry regarding this very thing. I am not going to go over the conversation, but I am going to do a series of blogs dealing with this issue from a theological and practical perspective. In the end I will come to some kind of conclusion. I do not know for sure what it will be, but hopefully my journey through this issue will be helpful to you. What this will not be about is safety online, bashing any particular social network, or promoting any particular network. I will likely dive in to some vague ideas for how these things might be used as it is appropriate. This will largely be a theological approach to these things. It will be up to the reader to figure out how to address the practical implications. I will try to get these blogs out in a timely fashion, but it may be one a week. The next post will look at the idea of relationship and community, what are they?

Doing it Right

Last night after youth group two students got in a car accident on the way home. Youth ministry is kind of weird. We are dealing with minors, but most likely we don't check them in and out of our programs. Even if we do there is a sense of independence, they find there own rides home, or they drive, and for the younger ones parents will pick them up.
Waiting until everyone leaves to go home and making sure everything is ok once they leave may seem tough, boring, and unnecessary. Last night all of that changed. We had one student that kinda disappeared. In the end she was found and everything turned out ok, but what if I had gone home when I could have instead of when I should have? The student may not have been found and when the accident happened I would have already been in bead.
Staying late is hard on me and sometimes my family. Being on the scene of an accident two of my students were involved in was invaluable. They were ok, other than being shaken up, and in the end everything will turn out for the better. The relationship bonds that took place last night between me, my leaders, and the students can not be replaced.
Taking short cuts might get you to bed earlier, but it will hurt your ministry in the long run.

When Bad Days Happen

Everyone has them. Sometimes they are caused by some kid having a bad attitude, sometimes they are caused by me having a bad attitude. There are still other times when it isn't about an attitude at all. I had one of those day on Sunday. My aunt was in town which changed by schedule a little bit. Because of that I attended first service when I usually attend third. Student ministries meets during second service. I usually take some time to prep during first service. I did plan ahead, I made sure the sound was set up and my guitar was tuned. Media Shout was ready and loaded. Everything was ready to go. We had worked hard on putting together a video for the students to kick off the fall campaign.

Unfortunately this was the day everything would go wrong. I got up to lead worship and my guitar was out of tune, I don't know how, but it was. It was far enough out of tune that I could not let it be, I had to tune it. I didn't have a pedal tuner (I do now) so I had to sit there and do it by ear. The students didn't exactly get excited about the worship (probably because of the rough start) and to be honest I have done a better job. The drummer wasn't on, and when we got to the video we had worked so hard on the audio didn't work because of a codec problem.

You might be waiting for the positive shoe to drop. Unfortunately that isn't the case. It was just a bad day. So what now?

The truth is I don't exactly know. I know I learned some lessons. The codec problem is fixed and I bought a pedal tuner. Those problems won't happen again, maybe that is all the good that will come of it. Sometimes there are just bad days. Maybe God did something that I am not aware of. Maybe there will be more good that will come of this.

Bad days come and go, Youth Ministry is no exception. What do we do? We move on, we point to the cross, and we continue to love Jesus.